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Kids English
How to help your child stay focused on the right things?
It’s hard to believe we’re going on a full year of lockdown, social distancing, and online classes.
Many children are still stuck at home, separated from their friends, and struggling with virtual learning. And while it does look like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, we’re still not sure exactly how long it will be until we reach it.
As an educationist, I've spent the past year working hard to help our children adjust to this new “normal” by finding ways to succeed in online classes, structure their time at home, and use any extra downtime to their advantage.
But beyond the specific strategies we’re discussing, the bigger-picture goal with these conversations is to shift what they’re focusing on.
Because there are really two fundamental options for what to focus on in difficult situations like this...and the choice children make can have a profound impact on how they feel and the way they respond.
While today’s current events are an extreme example, it can be very tempting for children to focus on things that are outside of their control in any difficult circumstance, like getting a bad grade on a test or facing a big, overwhelming schoolwork.
In challenging situations like this, children have two fundamental options…
- To focus on what is outside of their control, which makes it seem like they’re powerless to change the situation and leaves them feeling anxious, angry, or both
OR - To focus on the aspects of the situation that are inside their control, and take ownership for doing what they can to improve either the situation itself or their response to it.
If a child feels helpless, stuck at home, with too many homework to get done, not enough access to resources, and are defensively blaming these problems on issues outside of their control, they are more likely to accept defeat before even trying.
But if that child can instead shift their focus to the fact that they have an unprecedented ability to control when and how they do their work, how much time and energy they spend on their learning and homework, who and how and when they ask for help, and their own attitude and response to the situation, they will feel a much greater sense of autonomy and control and have a far better chance at coming out of the COVID crisis feeling more confident, and having good grades in their classes. -Dr. Y
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